The holiday season, a time that once sparkled with festive lights and joyous melodies, can cast a shadow on those who still carry the weight of grief. For those who have lost a loved one like me, the season’s cheer often intertwines with the unsettling reminder of their absence. How do we navigate the grief during the holidays and rediscover moments of joy amidst the sorrow? Acknowledging the Pain First and foremost, it’s crucial to acknowledge the pain. Grief is not a...
After all I’ve done for my son all I get is a CASKET!? Don’t say that Kim! Don’t say that! You got this and that and time and blah blah blah! Yes I did get all of that. But I poured my time, my money, my heart and soul into my child and all I got after 19 years is a casket… A lifeless body buried in the ground way before his time… With all of the money I spent on trainings, gear, workouts,...
How do you right the wrongs once they’re gone? If I only had more time… Have you ever said that? Have you ever felt that time was too short with your loved one? When one dies we are left with the thoughts of what we could have and should have done. We are left with the thoughts of what we feel that we did wrong. We are left with the thoughts of what we could have done better. We are left with the thoughts...
Pain & Guilt– As the shock wears off, it is replaced with the suffering of unbelievable pain. Although excruciating and almost unbearable, it is important that you experience the pain fully, and not hide it, avoid it or escape from it with alcohol or drugs. The pain of burying a child is the worst pain a human can experience. We all have expectations to live long lives. But, it’s impossible to know when you will experience death. For me, the pain of...
Grief is an experience that most everyone encounters at some point in life. It can come in various forms, such as loss of a loved one, loss of a job, change or loss of a relationship, moving to a new location or when a serious illness occurs. Experiencing grief is totally natural. Experiencing unresolved grief can lead to unhealthy behaviors. Learning to identify the stages of grief and ways to cope through each is a great way to begin the...
It’s difficult to take your emotions out of situations and deal with what is right in your face. That means you have to hold yourself accountable for everything you experienced in that moment. Over the years I’ve learned to take my emotions out of everything especially when it comes to making decisions, listening to people, and having compassion for other people’s situations. When you feel that things should go a certain way that’s your opinion not a fact. Granted, we all...
What is love? “Love is a set of emotions and behaviors characterized by intimacy, passion, and commitment. It involves care, closeness, protectiveness, attraction, affection, and trust.” Grief requires LOVE. The love you show yourself when dealing with the loss of a loved one, the love from others who also loved your loved one and the love from those who didn’t know your loved one but who Love You. There’s a difference between death and grief. Death is an experience of life, grief is...
When death happens we often associate it with an emotion, but death is actually an experience. An experience that will happen to each of us. An experience that is apart of living, and an experience that is the inevitable. To accept life, you have to accept that death will happen to you. Fact is, we live to die. Every day you continue to live you are actually dying. Every death is a different experience. A death from sickness allows you to...
My son was killed in an ambush on Churchill Ave in Somerset, NJ by 5 black teenage men on December 31, 2019. There were shots in the double digits but only 2 hit him. The bullets killed him immediately. Read that again… The pain I have to live with daily is a pain no other mother should bear. The things I didn’t sign up for as a MOTHER. Things that nobody who hasn’t experienced this could understand… I can no longer see my son, I...
I wear orange for my son Samaad Zaire Frazier. He was gunned down on Churchill Ave in Somerset on Dec 31 2019 by 5 young men who knew and went to school with him. He was 19 years old and a 2018 graduate of FHS and an elite basketball player. His death was 1 of 3 that year in Somerset. He was preceded by the deaths of Dominic Frederick on May 25 and Monserrat Noyola-Narvaez on October 29. it’s been a difficult journey of healing...